A Few Favorite Fallacies
Logical Fallacies in societal thinking are similar to the release of large numbers plague infested rats into a city. Like with the plague, people actually do suffer and die as a result of rampant logical fallacies, so this isn't some simple matter of "oops". This is serious business. It is of life or death importance to become aware of logical fallacies. Askew apes are running around with these behavioral absurdities like axes in hand and swinging at everything in sight. They are usually unaware of doing this or having it done to them. Dumb apes.
While it is true that not everything in reality is logical, it is helpful to be aware of our own uses of these fallacies and to avoid fallacious manipulation by others. Logical fallacies can be a great tool for humor, but unfortunately also a great tool for destruction.
Here are a few examples of logical fallacies (*please note that the names I have given the examples here are for entertainment only and are not scientific terms):
WE CAN'T LET THAT HAPPEN LOGIC (a.k.a. SLIPPERY SLOPE or LUBED SNAKE)- "If we let gays get married, the next thing will be people marrying their pets."
This logical fallacy states that if we allow one thing to happen then some extreme and unlikely next step will happen as a result. If a specific religious institution does not want to grant marriage to gays then that is their business, but if a religious institution wishes to grant marriage to homosexuals (or heterosexuals or asexually or swingers or whoever) then they should be able to. There are many churches of many different faiths that will happily grant marriage to gay people. But marriage is no longer only a religious tradition. It is a legal bonding and government-issued contract between two people. With the separation of church and state, no church has the right to force the government or other churches to not allow gay marriage. Also, Nature is the ultimate lead authority in these matters. Therefore, gay marriage is perfectly reasonable. Problem solved.
PROVE IT LOGIC- "God/Jesus/Shiva/Allah/Zeus/Satan/Zaroaster/etc is the supreme lord and you can't prove otherwise."
This absurd statement fails to recognize that the burden of proof lies with the believer rather than the non-believer. People may believe what they want, but that doesn't make it true or logical.
ARISTOTELIAN LOGIC- This is the erroneous belief that something either is one thing or it must be another- black/white, right/wrong, true/false, good/bad, this/that, and other relational certitudes. Certitude is the result, but is often wrong. In this process of logic, one would attach to one belief (based on life imprints, social identity, and environment) as absolutely true or morally right and view differing beliefs as "logically" wrong. We see this in politics and religion, we also do this in our daily relationships and experiences. Aristotelian logic can get out of control quickly. Western culture and philosophy is deeply rooted in this type of is/or logic.
DUMB APE FAVORITISM-
This is the act of taking a side of an argument or discussion even if it is wrong based on relationship or association bias. This is super-dumb ape mentality. For example, you are walking down the street with your sister and she says "screw you" to a random stranger. The stranger says "screw you too" in defense, and you say "Hey that's my sister! Watch it, or else." The logical thing to do in this case would be to put your sister in check rather than defending her. Another example can be seen when drunken hairless apes get into fist fights to defend their favorite sports team.
CAUSE AND EFFECT IRRATIONALITY (a.k.a. 2+7=3.4 LOGIC)-
Jane: "The cat got sick."
Joe: "Where did the cat get sick?"
Jane: "On the bed."
Joe: "Oh! The bed must have made the cat sick. We better not lay on the bed anymore."
This logical fallacy assumes that something associated with something else is a cause. This has led to superstitions, hatred, bigotry, classism, and other social maladies throughout human history.
JUST PLAIN DUMB LOGIC- "If we evolved from apes, then why are there still apes?"
I shouldn't even have to explain this absurd and uninformed statement. If someone is too dumb to understand this absurdity then they probably can't read (<--LOGICAL FALLACY!). A person who thinks this question is sane or sensible is too far from the lifeboat to be saved.
BLIND LOYALTY LOGIC- This logical fallacy happens when a person believes something based only on belief in a leader's authority. In 1997 Marshall Applewhite convinced 38 other people that there was a UFO hiding behind Haley's Comet and they could get aboard the ship by suicide with poison. Without any evidence of the UFO, based only on Applewhite's word, they all put on new Nike shoes and black outfits and took the poison. Mentally elevated people are generally less susceptible to blind loyalty and more likely to ask questions or for evidence.
RACISM- "Those white/black/brown/yellow/red/other people over there are bad, therefore all white/black/brown/yellow/red/other people must be bad." This is a type of generalization, usually negative, that identifies unrelated qualities of individuals as relating to all people of similar skin color. This is extremely illogical, and wrong.
SEXISM- "All men are pigs" is an incorrect emotional bias that claims all men as untrustworthy or malicious based on the experience of only a few men.
ASSOCIATIVE FALLACY- "Islam is evil because Islamic terrorists are Muslim."
The people who make these blanket statements seem to forget that the evil committed regularly within their own belief culture does not lead them to think of their own culture as evil.
GENERALIZATIONS GONE ASKEW- "All donkeys are asses."
Generalizations can be useful observations when not taken to extremes. For example, if I were to say, "In general, some (but not all) Chinese people are bad drivers relative to most Americans", this would be a reasonable generalization. Until recently China has not had a major driving or car culture relative to the United States, so this generalization does come from a realistic background. However, there are many good Chinese drivers. Also, there are many Chinese people and descendants living in the United States who drive quite well and regularly. So this generalization should have conditions with it to be understood. To say "All Chinese people are drivers" is a poor generalization, and a potentially racist one, depending on the intention. There are many bad American drivers too. We could also make the following generalization: "In general, many Americans are not good with using chopsticks." Some are, most aren't. What about white men? Can they jump?
NON SEQUITUR LOGIC- "I can't get the knot in my shoelaces undone because George Bush is President." This absurd logic associates a cause for something as due to something unrelated. It is often used as a blame game or as an excuse for failure.
BANDWAGON LOGIC- The idea that popular beliefs must be true. Of course this sounds absurd when we think about it, but we fall for it regularly. Popular culture and advertising use this sentiment regularly and with great success.
AD HOMINEM- This is the attempt to attack someone's character to disprove a point. For example, Joe told Tina he wanted to ask Dan for advice. Tina said "Dan's a drunk, why would you ask his advice on anything?" Joe replied, "I want a recommendation for a good whiskey." Often the attack will attempt to invalidate the point being made by attacking the person. Such as "Don't trust him to be honest, he smells bad" or "He knows nothing about auto-mechanics because he's a gambling addict."
EMOTIONAL LOGIC- "It's so wrong for that lion to eat that gazelle."
People who say this are usually speaking from emotion, bias, or sentiment. They aren't considering the balanced functions of nature or how horrific it would be for a lion to starve to death.
ASSUMED FACT (a.k.a. "ASSED FACTWARDS")- "We found the ruins of a large boat on Mount Ararat, it is Noah's Ark!"
I have no problem with the concept of an amazing guy named Noah who built a large boat and survived rising water levels with his family and goats, chickens, and gardens on board. Although it is a beautiful parable of metaphor, he did not repopulate all the species of the Earth, and finding the ruins of a large boat does not prove any aspects of the parable. It simply means a boat was found. Ancient people were skilled sailors and many boats existed throughout various periods of human history. Also, even if we found a big boat that had "Noah's Boat" written on the side, it would still not validate any other parts of biblical scripture and it would not prove the parable. To be quite honest, any person who literally believes the biblical parable of Noah (despite proof to the contrary) is not sane, but it is a really cool story.
APPEAL TO AUTHORITY LOGIC- "Look, the advert in the paper says a doctor said that margarine is healthier than butter. If a doctor says it, it must be true. Honey, we better switch to margarine."
People go to great lengths to create the appearance of authority on a subject. People will dress the part, companies will pay authorities to bend the facts, and politicians will pretend to know what they are talking about. It's a trap!
ASSOCIATIVE FALLACY- "Hitler was an artist. Hitler was a Nazi. Therefore, artists are Nazis."
It seems silly, but lots of people think this way. Maybe not only about Hitler or artists, but about many things.
STAY THE COURSE LOGIC- This is a logical fallacy that causes some one or group to continue on an incorrect idea or course of action even after it is proven wrong or mistaken in order to save face and not admit the error. Some police do this often when making arrests. Politicians do this too. Many wars drag on for this reason. This is also the fallacy of literal biblical creationists. They still believe something although it has been disproven by evolutionary theory. Cognitive Dissonance is commonly a result of this logic.
SCHRÖDINGER'S CAT LOGIC- The Schrödinger's Cat thought experiment states that if a cat is completely non-observable while in a box with a lethal mechanism that has a 50/50 chance of killing the cat that the cat would be in a superposition of both alive and dead until the box is opened and the cat is observed, in which case the condition of the cat collapses into being either alive or dead. This demonstrates the necessity of an observer in causal reality. Logic, as we relate to it in our ordinary experience would not allow something to be two contradicting things at once. However, in quantum mechanics this is true because non-collapsed (not yet consciously observed) reality is in a state of superposition. So this really isn't a logical fallacy, it is only illogical to our tricked minds.
Logic is not a definition of "the way things actually are". Logic is a general tool for tempering the experience of reality. AT ANY MOMENT ALL LOGIC MAY BE THROWN OUT THE WINDOW. In fact, logic, like any model or system, is itself to be transcended. Becoming aware of logical fallacies is not about "being right", but more about navigation through the minefield of shifting reality.
*Many examples from religion and politics are often used as examples of logical fallacies. This is not an attempt to belittle beliefs, but there are many logical fallacies within religious and political beliefs when taken too literally.
**Reality is a strange place. It bends and frays at the edges and seams. Logic that is too rigid may snap under the weight of the bizarre and unknown. So always note that logic is a tool, not a wall.
For more about logical fallacies, visit
www.yourlogicalfallacyis.com
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