Thou Shalt Not Take Thy Shalts Too Seriously

Here are a few thoughts on the Ten Commandments. Some good and some not.

• ¹ And God said all these words: ² I am the Lord who took you out of the land of Egypt, out of the prison-house. ³ You are to have no other gods but me. All Gods say this. All jealous teenage boyfriends and girlfriends say this too. It's pure nonsense. 
• ⁴ You are not to make an image or picture of anything in heaven or on the earth or in the waters under the earth: ⁵ You may not go down on your faces before them or give them worship: for I, the Lord your God, am a God who will not give his honour to another; and I will send punishment on the children for the wrongdoing of their fathers, to the third and fourth generation of my haters; ⁶ And I will have mercy through a thousand generations on those who have love for me and keep my laws. No pictures please! Also, obey your father, even if he's wrong. If you do this, even though it's wrong, I will reward you. Don't ask why!
• ⁷ You are not to make use of the name of the Lord your God for an evil purpose; whoever takes the Lord's name on his lips for an evil purpose will be judged a sinner by the Lord. This is an attempt to not be implicated, but humans have engaged in evil in the name of God since the dawn of man. There must be a lot of souls in hell! 
• ⁸ Keep in memory the Sabbath and let it be a holy day. ⁹ On six days do all your work: ¹⁰ But the seventh day is a Sabbath to the Lord your God; on that day you are to do no work, you or your son or your daughter, your man-servant or your woman-servant, your cattle or the man from a strange country who is living among you: ¹¹ For in six days the Lord made heaven and .earth, and the sea, and everything in them, and he took his rest on the seventh day: for this reason the Lord has given his blessing to the seventh day and made it holy. Nature doesn't know what Sunday is. Sunday is just another day.
• ¹² Give honour to your father and to your mother, so that your life may be long in the land which the Lord your God is giving you. Honor your parents who raised you. If they a worthy, they deserve it. This is good advice.
• ¹³ Do not put anyone to death without cause. "Thou shalt not kill". This is the most sensible of the commandments. It's an easy one to follow too. Don't murder anyone or else. I feel that society goes a little too easy on murderers.
• ¹⁴ Do not be false to the married relation. This simply means don't have sex with anyone else, but there are several cultural exceptions to this.
• ¹⁵ Do not take the property of another. Another extremely easy one to follow, but whole societies of millions of people are based on stealing from each other. So maybe it's not really so easy.
• ¹⁶ Do not give false witness against your neighbor. Don't lie about others or make false assumptions. We shouldn't need God to tell us that, but I guess some people do.
• ¹⁷ Let not your desire be turned to your neighbour's house, or his wife or his man-servant or his woman-servant or his ox or his ass or anything which is his. You may BORROW an ass, but not a wife. I've never had an easy time accepting that other people should be considered property.

We can take all the petty human flaws and jealousy out of it and put it all into sensible perspective with The Wiccan Rede:

"And ye harm none, do what thou whilt."

An Excellent Daily Mental Exercise

Every day we are on the run doing things we need to do.
Well, "need" is a bit of a stretch. But we are fixated on getting a carrot that is always out of reach.
Most things that we think we "need" to do aren't really all that important.
So here's a good daily mental exercise that uses your imagination in your favor...

Every day, wherever you are, pretend as if you are on vacation in that place for the very first time.

There are two main steps:
1. Stop.
2. Smell roses.

When you are vacationing someplace you take the time to look around, but since you are generally accustomed to your usual daily surroundings you may find yourself uninterested in your surroundings and over-focused on whatever "needs" to happen next.
When you are on vacation nothing "needs" to be done next, and you find yourself with the extra time and presence of mind to look around and enjoy the present moment.
Well, you experience present moments at every present moment, continually. So look around and enjoy. You don't "need" to be doing anything right now.
Every day, every moment, is a vacation from something. Every moment has something new. Stop and smell the roses.
Enjoy.

Science and Sanity

I highly recommend the book "Science and Sanity" by Alfred Korzybski.
It's a long tough read, but a game changer.
The cover is a bit boring as well, so I took the liberty to design a more colorful cover.

Apes Gone Askew!

Viva la Evolution!

Becoming Aware Of

In the book "Drive Yourself Sane: Using the Uncommon Sense of General Semantics" by Susan Presby Kodish and Bruce I. Kodish, there is a part discussing how people learn from their experiences. There are four basic steps:

1. Becoming aware of
2. Questioning
3. Testing
4. Revising their assumptions

The problem many people encounter is that they often do not get past Step 1. They simply "become aware of" and that ends the learning experience. This is also called "belief" or "faith". 

A belief may or may not be true or real (or both), and does have a place in attempting to create a model of understanding of the unknown.

As examples, a person who is raised Christian reads The Bible and thus "becomes aware of" that interpretation of reality as fact, while on the other side of the world someone reads the Koran and accepts that model of reality. For the established belief nothing more is necessary. This is why religion tends to suppress steps 2, 3, and 4, because often times questioning, testing, and revising conflict with what is taught fundamentally.

This phenomenon of awareness/acceptance/surrender/repression/belief (lack of higher consciousness) is not isolated to religion (although many people do use religion as a tool towards higher consciousness, many become stuck in the particular dogmas). We also see it in politics, classism/racism/sexism/elitism/etc, social ideology, and within human relations (and even in science).

The average stumbling primate is fully unaware that they have ended their potential for expansion. They think they "know". When this knowing is established (blindly and without question) it becomes solid and unmalable. The rigidity of the knowledge shuts down more information trying to enter the brain, or adapts the information to fit the initial belief (i.e. dinosaurs and humans living together as to not conflict with the creationist model of the age of the Earth). If one were to inquire beyond the belief one would find common denominators among beliefs and ideas, and the lines of separation would begin to blur. 

Extreme and chronic lack of inquiry leads to polarization of ideas, lack of cooperation in the world, division, and fundamentalism which keeps the world from progressing and evolving. With fluid, permeable boundaries mankind can exchange tools and ideas and function more productively and cohesively.

A way to break this pattern of "becoming aware of" is to realize the patterns and abandon beliefs when new information arises. We must allow our beliefs to bend in the wind. This is done by questioning, testing, and revising our assumptions (beliefs).

To allow the mystery is against our human conditioning, but advancement and beauty are found in the potentials of mystery.

Here's a short example in scenario form:

(BECOMING AWARE OF)
Wife: Honey, I heard a noise in the living room. I think a burglar is in the house.
(QUESTIONING)
Hubby: ok, I will check it out.
(TESTING)
Hubby: Hey!!! Who's there??? I've got a gun!
(REVISING THE ASSUMPTION)
Grandma: It's your mother! Don't shoot! I was just bring the grandchildren some cookies!
Hubby: At 11 o'clock at night? You scared the hell out of us!!!

Some people would have shot grandma first and asked questions later!

To learn more about how we perceive the world and get stuck in our own mud, please read "Drive Yourself Sane".

An Amazing Time In History

We live in an amazing time in history.
Here are a few things to consider about the time we presently live in:

• We can instantly communicate around the world through type, audio, or video in real time.
• We have virtually unlimited information available at our fingertips; the equivalent of a million libraries.
• Our governments are being exposed.
• We can quickly learn almost any skill with access to teachers and tutorials online. For example, you can learn to fix a broken table leg or cook an amazing omelet or learn a language fluently without having to go through an immersed apprenticeship. In the past one had to go to great lengths to learn to cook and other skills.
• We can interact with people of all nationalities and backgrounds. This expands our pool of knowledge and gives access to wisdom different from our own, which can exponentially expand our own knowledge and wisdom.
• In the past we only heard stories or saw pictures of our deceased relatives. We are now entering an age where we can watch video of how whole past generations lived.
• Alternative foods, building methods, energy sources, and ideas are available to us.
• Through a greater understanding of nutrition and exercise, people have the opportunity to be fitter and healthier than people in the recent past.
• The old restricting beliefs and standards of society are dying a slow death. This will allow the species to move forward.
• You can watch a nature documentary on HD TV and see a cheetah take down a gazelle. 100 years ago people only heard stories and some saw an illustration in a book of these far away mysterious creatures. Very few people ever witnessed something like this, now it is seen by millions.
• You can now learn far more at home than you ever could at a university. Autodidaction.
• We send spaceships throughout the solar system.
• Science has now proven that reality isn't reality.
• We are on the verge of discovering life on other worlds. It has already been proven mathematically.
• We have a deeper understanding of nature.
• There's a "spiritual" consciousness awakening happening around the globe that contrasts centuries of religious and political oppression.
• You have access to alternatives to the proposed status quo. You have access to alternatives to the proposed status quo. Again, you have access to alternatives to the proposed status quo.

Now what are we going to do with all of this information, capability, and potential?
You see, it turns out that it is actually YOU who is steering the ship.

The Samurai Creed

I have no parents; I make the Heavens and the Earth my parents.

I have no home; I make the Tan T’ien my home.

I have no divine power; I make honesty my Divine Power.

I have no means; I make Docility my means.

I have no magic power; I make personality my Magic Power.

I have neither life nor death; I make A-Um my Life and Death.

I have no body; I make Stoicism my Body.

I have no eyes; I make The Flash of Lightning my eyes.

I have no ears; I make Sensibility my Ears.

I have no limbs; I make Promptitude my Limbs.

I have no laws; I make Self-Protection my Laws.

I have no strategy; I make the Right to Kill and the Right to Restore Life my Strategy.

I have no designs; I make Seizing the Opportunity by the Forelock my Designs.

I have no miracles; I make Righteous Laws my Miracle.

I have no principles; I make Adaptability to all circumstances my Principle.

I have no tactics; I make Emptiness and Fullness my Tactics.

I have no talent; I make Ready Wit my Talent.

I have no friends; I make my Mind my Friend.

I have no enemy; I make Incautiousness my Enemy.

I have no armour; I make Benevolence my Armour.

I have no castle; I make Immovable Mind my Castle.

I have no sword; I make No Mind my Sword.

Trataka Meditation

I am an advocate of exploring meditation methods. Over the years I have practiced several methods using various tools- music, mandalas, images, symbols, mantras, bells, candles, and binaural tones.
Binaural tones are a favorite, but recently I broke me earphones so I decided to get back to something I used to practice regularly: Trataka Meditation, candle gazing.
"Trataka" in Sanskrit means "to gaze". It is a yogic method of meditation that basically involves gazing at a lit candle.

Here are some simple steps:
(There are many different methods)

1. Place a lit candle a few feet in front of you at a comfortable chest or eye height.

2. Assume a sitting meditative posture. Relaxed. Straight spine.

3. Begin breathing (natural or controlled "pranayama" methods).

4. After several breaths close your eyes and remain focused on the image of the flame "burned" into the rods and cones of the eye. Continue breathing.

5. After several breaths open your eyes and continue breathing.

6. Repeat.

This method offers focus and an altered state of consciousness and meditative brainwave states. Vary the practice to find the best results.

Enjoy.

Grammar

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Hate.

Not so long ago. Not so far away.
Still here in many ways.
It serves no logical purpose.
Hate seems to be a reversion into primal patterns that becomes irrational in modern context.

This Is Not A Leaf

Transcend identity for experience.

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"Dust Honey"

"Dust Honey"
by Laren Grey Umphlett
(from The Poetic Realities, The Poetic Fantasies)

That luminous pedal stretching into day
as a mystic may know cause.
Dew suckle and glow
A journey of light bends skyward falling
and high mists may relegate with soft touch,
The equal is in the stay.
The messengers toil the stems
as certain benefactors they hum
Angels with halos of black
and cargo of gold,
The lynch pins of our heartbeats,
They are the hinges of our winds
Every soft valve and tube thankful for their mercy
A perfect plan now step trampled
the sting will swell
The love unfolds in the gold
hoisted a fine dust.
No many more than needed
No less
Carrying on as not told silently
but the hum of what is known...

Picking Up Higher Frequency Thought Patterns

Picking Up Higher Frequency Thought Patterns

by Nikki Sapp
www.alifethatyoulove.wordpress.com

“My brain is only a receiver. In the Universe there is a core from which we obtain knowledge and strength and inspiration. I have not penetrated into the secrets of this core, but I know that it exists.” –Nikola Tesla

 I have good news and bad news. The good news is, your thoughts are not YOUR thoughts. The bad news is, your thoughts are not YOUR thoughts. Now this is good news because we’ve all been the recipient of one of those really strange demented thoughts that kind of scares us for a second because we’re like, “Did I REALLY just think that??” Well, yes, the thought happened, but lucky for you it was not actually your mind coming up with it. The reason this is bad news is because while our ego would like to claim and take ownership of all those really cool aha moments as if we came up with them completely on our own, most likely you didn’t. It’s probable that someone else somewhere has had that exact same thought or idea at some point. Now I say “probable” because there are rare occasions of “original” thought, as in the case of someone like Albert Einstein or someone that finds the theory behind a really complicated math equation, or physics discovery. So unless these are the types of things you are generating in your mind, it’s safe to say that your thoughts are not completely original. Carl Jung used the term “collective unconscious” to describe this vast collection of every single thought, idea, belief, etc… that any human being on the planet has ever had. And it is because there is this database, so to speak, that houses all thought forms that are and ever have been, that we are able to call upon knowledge and wisdom that may be floating around in this encyclopedia of thought forms. If we think of our brains like a receiver and transmitter, we can see that we can receive thoughts from the collective unconscious, and also we can transmit thoughts as well. You’ve probably picked up millions of “thoughts” from the people around you and they from you without ever even realizing it. Once we realize that we can “tune in” to thought patterns, just like a radio, we come to the question, “how do I pick up higher frequency, more productive, and positive thought patterns?” Well, that all depends on what station you’re on…

“You are the creator of your own experience. You live in a vibrational universe. You have control of the signal you emit.”-Abraham-Hicks

 You may have heard by now that all matter (including our physical bodies) is just energy vibrating at a certain frequency. The higher our vibration is, the more we are in alignment with things like health, happiness and inner peace. When our vibration is lower we may experience more bouts of depression, anger, fearful thoughts and illness. Every thought form that comes into our minds is based purely in energy as well. Everything, is just energy at its lowest form. Energy always attracts like energy. Which means when we stay focused on negative, low-vibratory thought patterns, we attract more of the same. And vice versa with higher, more loving thought patterns. If we can think of our level of vibration as the “station” that we are tuned into, we see that the more we sit in stressful, negative, or dark thoughts and actually give them our attention, the more we will draw these types of thoughts to us. Which means, the one thing you probably try to do when you get a negative thought, which is try to get rid of it by either condemning the thought as “bad”, or forcing it out of your head by replacing it with another thought, is the one thing that actually keeps it coming back. If you’ve ever tried to NOT think about something, you realize… that is all you will think about! The point is not to ONLY have positive thoughts, because as we all know that is not always going to be possible. But the point is, to only give your conscious attention and beliefs to those thoughts that seem productive and pleasurable. The more we give THOSE thoughts our attention and belief, those are exactly the ones that will amplify. The more we sit in higher vibration more loving thoughts, we start listening to that “happy, loving radio station” which means we start picking up all thoughts that are aligned with that vibration station. If we come across a thought or thought pattern that seems fearful in nature or detrimental to our well-being… let it go. Have the thought. Accept it. Surrender to it and observe it without judging it (it wasn’t YOUR thought anyways, so what’s to judge?) The energy of acceptance keeps us in high vibration, while resisting, criticizing and judging ourselves or the thought lowers our vibration. We notice that when we stop BELEIVING the fearful thought patterns, they stop coming around so much.

 When we become rooted in our true self, which is the awareness behind our thoughts rather than the thoughts themselves, we are more able to put space between us and our thoughts. Meditation is key in doing this, because it gives us a chance to not only be in solitude, away from distraction, but also gives us a chance to observe our predominant thought patterns from this place of pure awareness. We can only change our “station” when we are aware of what station we are even on to begin with. The act of raising our vibration proves to be a fruitful endeavor. Not only do we realize we become happier, and more rooted in our most authentic selves, but also that we naturally train our minds to see the good in situations. The mind will automatically start to extract what’s going “right” for us and what we can be grateful for, rather than immediately picking out the flaws in any given circumstance. High vibrations attract more high vibrations. Happiness attracts more happiness. Love attracts more love. Which sounds exactly like the station I want to be on… how about you?

To read more articles by Nikki Sapp visit her blog at www.alifethatyoulove.wordpress.com and see her contributions at Fractal Enlightenment www.fractalenlightenment.com

A Conversation Between A Cock, A Donkey, And A Farmer

A Conversation Between A Cock, A Donkey, And A Farmer

by Laren Grey Umphlett

A cock, a donkey, and a farmer were sitting around a table one day. This is how the conversation went.

Donkey: "See that glass on the table? What's that clear liquid in it?"

Cock: "I don't know. It might be milk. Farmer, do you know?"

Farmer: "It's not milk." (*referring to white cow milk)

Donkey: "You can't say it's not milk. You don't know what it is!"

Cock: "I believe it's milk."

Farmer: "I don't know what it is, but it's not milk."

Donkey: "Why are you being so hostile and negative? He can believe it's milk if he wants to. Just because YOU don't think it's milk doesn't mean it isn't. It could be anything, so you can't say it's not milk."

Cock: "Yeah! You are being closed-minded."

Farmer: "No. I'm not being closed-minded or negative. We can know what something isn't without fully understanding what it is."

Donkey: "How can you say it isn't milk?"

Cock: "Yeah!"

Farmer: "It's not only not milk. There are many things it isn't. For example, it isn't the Eiffel Tower, it isn't a kitten, it isn't a school bus, and it isn't milk. Milk is white. We can know what something isn't even if we don't understand what it is."

The farmer leans back into his creaking chair.

Cock: "Sounds like closed-mindedness to me."

Farmer: "No. Closed-mindedness is when one continues to believe something in light of the understanding that what they believe isn't actually true. It's an open mind that explores the possibilities and discards what isn't possible. In this case, milk is white. The liquid in the glass is clear. Therefore.."

Donkey: "This is ridiculous. I believe what the cock believes, and I will drink it to prove it to you!"

Farmer: "Experience is the best teacher! Go for it!"

The donkey takes a sip and coughs and kicks frantically all around the table. 

The farmer howls with laughter.

Cock: "What is it???"

Farmer: "It's turpentine! I was going to strip the paint off this table to refinish it! Instead this became a nice lesson in how belief inhibits the possibilities of the yet unknown truth!"

Laren Grey Umphlett interview

"The Poetic Realities, The Poetic Fantasies" interview with Laren Grey Umphlett:

The Textbooks For Life And Living

THE TEXTBOOKS FOR LIFE AND LIVING

To function maximally physically one must consume high quality food and exercise the body.
To function maximally psychologically one must consume high quality information and exercise the mind.
If more people than not read the following book list we would find a world transformed and transcended beyond its own confusion.
These are the textbooks I recommend for graduating to higher levels of life and sanity.

 The Bhagavad Gita

Excellent teaching for non-religious philosophy as well as religious practices. As with all religious texts there is more gained when read metaphorically rather than literally.

Tao Te Ching

As with many old texts there are many translations. All translations are imperfect, even from English to English and person to person! Interpretations may be tricky, and you may read passages from the Tao Te Ching multiple times and gain multiple insights. Never read with the blinders of dogma and certitude.

Science and Sanity

"Science and Sanity" by Alfred Korzybski outlines the tools and practice of General Semantics. It is a very long and difficult book to read. I have read it in bits and once from cover to cover. Alternatively I would suggest reading "Drive Yourself Sane" by Susan Presby Kodish and Bruce I. Kodish.

The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali

This ancient text contains 196 sutras of Raja Yoga that can each be used as a tool towards higher mind.

Prometheus Rising and Quantum Psychology

When most people think of Robert Anton Wilson they think of his surrealist fiction books such as "The Illuminatus Trilogy" and "Schrodinger's Cat Trilogy". I find great understanding in his non-fiction psychology books. They are great tools for understanding the mind and unconvincing yourself of that which your brain tricks itself into thinking it knows. Understanding the functions of the mind and belief can help dissolve the ego fiction that rules the mind.

Freedom From The Known

Everybody's favorite anti-guru lays out a great lecture on embracing uncertainty in this mind-expanding classic.

Walden and Civil Disobedience

Henry David Thoreau wrote "Walden", a transcendental observation of reality from his two year experiment of semi-isolation. It will offer an entirely new way of seeing your own world.
"Civil Disobedience" will transform your understanding of the importance of freedom and resistance to anything or anyone who wishes to impose upon your freedom. It greatly influenced Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr in their struggles against oppression.

The Book

Alan Watts was a great bridge between East and West thought. He was quite eloquent in his speaking and writing. Many think "The Book" is his best work. It covers topics that will take the reader out of daily petty concerns and into a bigger picture.

Critical Path

Buckminster Fuller's writing can be tough to read but well worth the endeavor. In "Critical Path" he discusses the importance of taking care of our world and the importance of taking care of each other instead of only self concerns.

BOOK GIVEAWAY CONTEST!

It's easy as abc...

a. Post an entertaining and thought provoking photo or meme (humor is a plus).
b. Include the hashtag #ApesGoneAskew (link to www.larengreyumphlett.blogspot.com is a plus).
c. Share on social media (facebook pages, facebook groups, or twitter). Spread it far and wide!

The winner(s) will get a free copy of "The Poetic Realities, The Poetic Fantasies"!
This is an ongoing contest.

NOW AVAILABLE! "The Poetic Realities, The Poetic Fantasies"

Now available...
"The Poetic Realities, The Poetic Fantasies" the book.
Buy it on Createspace and Amazon.

https://www.createspace.com/5230904

Word of The Day: Empathy

Empathy is beyond the scope of psychopaths and sociopaths.

A Left and Right non-Euclidian Perspective

Robert Anton Wilson
Left and Right: A Non-Euclidean Perspective

Our esteemed editor, Bob Banner, has invited me to contribute an article on whether my politics are “left” or “right,” evidently because some flatlanders insist on classifying me as Leftist and others, equally Euclidean, argue that I am obviously some variety of Rightist.

Naturally, this debate intrigues me. The Poet prayed that some power “would the giftie gie us to see ourselves as others see us”; but every published writer has that dubious privilege. I have been called a “sexist” (by Arlene Meyers) and a “male feminist ... a simpering pussy-whipped wimp” (by L.A. Rollins), “one of the major thinkers of the modern age” (by Barbara Marx Hubbard) and “stupid” (by Andrea Chaflin Antonoff), a “genius” (by SOUNDS, London) and “mentally deranged” (by Charles Platt), a “mystic” and “charlatan” (by the Bay Area Skeptics) and a “materialist” (by an anonymous gent in Seattle who also hit me with a pie); one of my books has even been called...

Read the rest of the article:

http://theanarchistlibrary.org/library/robert-anton-wilson-left-and-right-a-non-euclidean-perspective

Apes Gone Askew! The Facebook Group!

Join the "Apes Gone Askew!" Facebook Group!

(it is awesome)

CLICK HERE!

In Some Sense

"All statements are true in some sense,false in some sense, meaningless in some sense, true and false in some sense, true and meaningless in some sense, false and meaningless in some sense, and true and false and meaningless in some sense."
Principia Discordia

"All phenomena are real in some sense, unreal in some sense, meaningless in some sense, real and meaningless in some sense, unreal and meaningless in some sense, and real and unreal and meaningless in some sense."
-Robert Anton Wilson

"All philosophies are valuable in some sense, harmful in some sense, meaningless in some sense, valuable and harmful in some sense,  valuable and meaningless in some sense, harmful and meaningless in some sense, and valuable and harmful and meaningless in some sense."
-Laren Grey Umphlett

Solve

A_es _o_e as_e_

Get Out Of Paradox Free!