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To purchase the books "The Power of Perception" and "The Poetic Realities, The Poetic Fantasies" please visit Laren Grey Umphlett's Amazon author page:

Saturday, January 31, 2015

Picking Up Higher Frequency Thought Patterns

Picking Up Higher Frequency Thought Patterns


“My brain is only a receiver. In the Universe there is a core from which we obtain knowledge and strength and inspiration. I have not penetrated into the secrets of this core, but I know that it exists.” –Nikola Tesla

 I have good news and bad news. The good news is, your thoughts are not YOUR thoughts. The bad news is, your thoughts are not YOUR thoughts. Now this is good news because we’ve all been the recipient of one of those really strange demented thoughts that kind of scares us for a second because we’re like, “Did I REALLY just think that??” Well, yes, the thought happened, but lucky for you it was not actually your mind coming up with it. The reason this is bad news is because while our ego would like to claim and take ownership of all those really cool aha moments as if we came up with them completely on our own, most likely you didn’t. It’s probable that someone else somewhere has had that exact same thought or idea at some point. Now I say “probable” because there are rare occasions of “original” thought, as in the case of someone like Albert Einstein or someone that finds the theory behind a really complicated math equation, or physics discovery. So unless these are the types of things you are generating in your mind, it’s safe to say that your thoughts are not completely original. Carl Jung used the term “collective unconscious” to describe this vast collection of every single thought, idea, belief, etc… that any human being on the planet has ever had. And it is because there is this database, so to speak, that houses all thought forms that are and ever have been, that we are able to call upon knowledge and wisdom that may be floating around in this encyclopedia of thought forms. If we think of our brains like a receiver and transmitter, we can see that we can receive thoughts from the collective unconscious, and also we can transmit thoughts as well. You’ve probably picked up millions of “thoughts” from the people around you and they from you without ever even realizing it. Once we realize that we can “tune in” to thought patterns, just like a radio, we come to the question, “how do I pick up higher frequency, more productive, and positive thought patterns?” Well, that all depends on what station you’re on…

“You are the creator of your own experience. You live in a vibrational universe. You have control of the signal you emit.”-Abraham-Hicks

 You may have heard by now that all matter (including our physical bodies) is just energy vibrating at a certain frequency. The higher our vibration is, the more we are in alignment with things like health, happiness and inner peace. When our vibration is lower we may experience more bouts of depression, anger, fearful thoughts and illness. Every thought form that comes into our minds is based purely in energy as well. Everything, is just energy at its lowest form. Energy always attracts like energy. Which means when we stay focused on negative, low-vibratory thought patterns, we attract more of the same. And vice versa with higher, more loving thought patterns. If we can think of our level of vibration as the “station” that we are tuned into, we see that the more we sit in stressful, negative, or dark thoughts and actually give them our attention, the more we will draw these types of thoughts to us. Which means, the one thing you probably try to do when you get a negative thought, which is try to get rid of it by either condemning the thought as “bad”, or forcing it out of your head by replacing it with another thought, is the one thing that actually keeps it coming back. If you’ve ever tried to NOT think about something, you realize… that is all you will think about! The point is not to ONLY have positive thoughts, because as we all know that is not always going to be possible. But the point is, to only give your conscious attention and beliefs to those thoughts that seem productive and pleasurable. The more we give THOSE thoughts our attention and belief, those are exactly the ones that will amplify. The more we sit in higher vibration more loving thoughts, we start listening to that “happy, loving radio station” which means we start picking up all thoughts that are aligned with that vibration station. If we come across a thought or thought pattern that seems fearful in nature or detrimental to our well-being… let it go. Have the thought. Accept it. Surrender to it and observe it without judging it (it wasn’t YOUR thought anyways, so what’s to judge?) The energy of acceptance keeps us in high vibration, while resisting, criticizing and judging ourselves or the thought lowers our vibration. We notice that when we stop BELEIVING the fearful thought patterns, they stop coming around so much.
 When we become rooted in our true self, which is the awareness behind our thoughts rather than the thoughts themselves, we are more able to put space between us and our thoughts. Meditation is key in doing this, because it gives us a chance to not only be in solitude, away from distraction, but also gives us a chance to observe our predominant thought patterns from this place of pure awareness. We can only change our “station” when we are aware of what station we are even on to begin with. The act of raising our vibration proves to be a fruitful endeavor. Not only do we realize we become happier, and more rooted in our most authentic selves, but also that we naturally train our minds to see the good in situations. The mind will automatically start to extract what’s going “right” for us and what we can be grateful for, rather than immediately picking out the flaws in any given circumstance. High vibrations attract more high vibrations. Happiness attracts more happiness. Love attracts more love. Which sounds exactly like the station I want to be on… how about you?


To read more articles by Nikki Sapp visit her blog at www.alifethatyoulove.wordpress.com and see her contributions at Fractal Enlightenment www.fractalenlightenment.com









Sunday, January 25, 2015

A Conversation Between A Cock, A Donkey, And A Farmer

A Conversation Between A Cock, A Donkey, And A Farmer
by Laren Grey Umphlett

A cock, a donkey, and a farmer were sitting around a table one day. This is how the conversation went.

Donkey: "See that glass on the table? What's that clear liquid in it?"
Cock: "I don't know. It might be milk. Farmer, do you know?"
Farmer: "It's not milk." (*referring to white cow milk)
Donkey: "You can't say it's not milk. You don't know what it is!"
Cock: "I believe it's milk."
Farmer: "I don't know what it is, but it's not milk."
Donkey: "Why are you being so hostile and negative? He can believe it's milk if he wants to. Just because YOU don't think it's milk doesn't mean it isn't. It could be anything, so you can't say it's not milk."
Cock: "Yeah! You are being closed-minded."
Farmer: "No. I'm not being closed-minded or negative. We can know what something isn't without fully understanding what it is."
Donkey: "How can you say it isn't milk?"
Cock: "Yeah!"
Farmer: "It's not only not milk. There are many things it isn't. For example, it isn't the Eiffel Tower, it isn't a kitten, it isn't a school bus, and it isn't milk. Milk is white. We can know what something isn't even if we don't understand what it is."
The farmer leans back into his creaking chair.
Cock: "Sounds like closed-mindedness to me."
Farmer: "No. Closed-mindedness is when one continues to believe something in light of the understanding that what they believe isn't actually true. It's an open mind that explores the possibilities and discards what isn't possible. In this case, milk is white. The liquid in the glass is clear. Therefore.."
Donkey: "This is ridiculous. I believe what the cock believes, and I will drink it to prove it to you!"
Farmer: "Experience is the best teacher! Go for it!"
The donkey takes a sip and coughs and kicks frantically all around the table. 
The farmer howls with laughter.
Cock: "What is it???"
Farmer: "It's turpentine! I was going to strip the paint off this table to refinish it! Instead this became a nice lesson in how belief inhibits the possibilities of the yet unknown truth!"

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Laren Grey Umphlett interview

"The Poetic Realities, The Poetic Fantasies" interview with Laren Grey Umphlett:

Sunday, January 18, 2015

The Textbooks For Life And Living

THE TEXTBOOKS FOR LIFE AND LIVING

To function maximally physically one must consume high quality food and exercise the body.
To function maximally psychologically one must consume high quality information and exercise the mind.
If more people than not read the following book list we would find a world transformed and transcended beyond its own confusion.
These are the textbooks I recommend for graduating to higher levels of life and sanity.

 The Bhagavad Gita

Excellent teaching for non-religious philosophy as well as religious practices. As with all religious texts there is more gained when read metaphorically rather than literally.















Tao Te Ching

As with many old texts there are many translations. All translations are imperfect, even from English to English and person to person! Interpretations may be tricky, and you may read passages from the Tao Te Ching multiple times and gain multiple insights. Never read with the blinders of dogma and certitude.















Science and Sanity

"Science and Sanity" by Alfred Korzybski outlines the tools and practice of General Semantics. It is a very long and difficult book to read. I have read it in bits and once from cover to cover. Alternatively I would suggest reading "Drive Yourself Sane" by Susan Presby Kodish and Bruce I. Kodish.














The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali

This ancient text contains 196 sutras of Raja Yoga that can each be used as a tool towards higher mind.











Prometheus Rising and Quantum Psychology

When most people think of Robert Anton Wilson they think of his surrealist fiction books such as "The Illuminatus Trilogy" and "Schrodinger's Cat Trilogy". I find great understanding in his non-fiction psychology books. They are great tools for understanding the mind and unconvincing yourself of that which your brain tricks itself into thinking it knows. Understanding the functions of the mind and belief can help dissolve the ego fiction that rules the mind.















Freedom From The Known

Everybody's favorite anti-guru lays out a great lecture on embracing uncertainty in this mind-expanding classic.


















Walden and Civil Disobedience

Henry David Thoreau wrote "Walden", a transcendental observation of reality from his two year experiment of semi-isolation. It will offer an entirely new way of seeing your own world.
"Civil Disobedience" will transform your understanding of the importance of freedom and resistance to anything or anyone who wishes to impose upon your freedom. It greatly influenced Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr in their struggles against oppression.












The Book

Alan Watts was a great bridge between East and West thought. He was quite eloquent in his speaking and writing. Many think "The Book" is his best work. It covers topics that will take the reader out of daily petty concerns and into a bigger picture.


















Critical Path

Buckminster Fuller's writing can be tough to read but well worth the endeavor. In "Critical Path" he discusses the importance of taking care of our world and the importance of taking care of each other instead of only self concerns.


Sunday, January 11, 2015

BOOK GIVEAWAY CONTEST!

It's easy as abc...
a. Post an entertaining and thought provoking photo or meme (humor is a plus).
b. Include the hashtag #ApesGoneAskew (link to www.larengreyumphlett.blogspot.com is a plus).
c. Share on social media (facebook pages, facebook groups, or twitter). Spread it far and wide!
The winner(s) will get a free copy of "The Poetic Realities, The Poetic Fantasies"!
This is an ongoing contest.

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

A Left and Right non-Euclidian Perspective

Robert Anton Wilson
Left and Right: A Non-Euclidean Perspective

Our esteemed editor, Bob Banner, has invited me to contribute an article on whether my politics are “left” or “right,” evidently because some flatlanders insist on classifying me as Leftist and others, equally Euclidean, argue that I am obviously some variety of Rightist.

Naturally, this debate intrigues me. The Poet prayed that some power “would the giftie gie us to see ourselves as others see us”; but every published writer has that dubious privilege. I have been called a “sexist” (by Arlene Meyers) and a “male feminist ... a simpering pussy-whipped wimp” (by L.A. Rollins), “one of the major thinkers of the modern age” (by Barbara Marx Hubbard) and “stupid” (by Andrea Chaflin Antonoff), a “genius” (by SOUNDS, London) and “mentally deranged” (by Charles Platt), a “mystic” and “charlatan” (by the Bay Area Skeptics) and a “materialist” (by an anonymous gent in Seattle who also hit me with a pie); one of my books has even been called...

Read the rest of the article:

http://theanarchistlibrary.org/library/robert-anton-wilson-left-and-right-a-non-euclidean-perspective

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

In Some Sense

"All statements are true in some sense,false in some sense, meaningless in some sense, true and false in some sense, true and meaningless in some sense, false and meaningless in some sense, and true and false and meaningless in some sense."
Principia Discordia

"All phenomena are real in some sense, unreal in some sense, meaningless in some sense, real and meaningless in some sense, unreal and meaningless in some sense, and real and unreal and meaningless in some sense."
-Robert Anton Wilson

"All philosophies are valuable in some sense, harmful in some sense, meaningless in some sense, valuable and harmful in some sense,  valuable and meaningless in some sense, harmful and meaningless in some sense, and valuable and harmful and meaningless in some sense."
-Laren Grey Umphlett

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

8 Circuits of Consciousness 3D Illustration


This may be a bit over a few heads...

This is an illustration series of my variation/interpretation of the Leary/Wilson Eight Circuits of Consciousness model. The circuits orient using the position of the little spaceman in a chair.

Circuits 1-5


Circuit 6


Circuit 7

Circuit 8


1 forward/back
2 up/down
3 left/right
4 steering left/right
5 steering up/down
6 cosmic inspiration
7 cosmic expiration
8 infinity



The Eight Circuits of Consciousness (Leary/Wilson Model):
1. The Oral Bio-Survival Circuit
2. The Anal Emotional-Territorial Circuit
3. The Time-Binding Semantic Circuit
4. The Moral Socio-Sexual Circuit
5. The Holistic Neurosomatic Circuit
6. The Collective Neurogenetic Circuit
7. The Meta-Programming Circuit
8. The Non-Local Quantum Circuit

The various circuits are influenced and/or activated by various means and methods.
To understand the above illustrations one should have a better understanding of The Eight Circuits of Consciousness Model.
Here are some useful links:

http://www.quora.com/Whats-a-good-explanation-of-Timothy-Learys-eight-circuit-model-of-consciousness

The Misadventures Of The "C-Word"



Words are tools. Sometimes tools become weapons. We all know that.
But we can sometimes turn a blunt tap into a sharp thrust with our over-sensitivity to words.
For example, a four letter word strikes deep at the hearts of some. This word starts with a "c" and ends with a "t", and although it isn't "cat" it seems to be loosely related to that word.
The "c-word" is that sharp effective and sometimes necessary screeching sound made when the blade of the sword strikes the crossguard of the opponent's weapon causing sparks to fly. This term of endearment is weilded with great skill by some, and rather foolishly by others.
It's a simple word: four little symbols arranged in a particular way, uttered by one and translated by another; felt by both. But to most humans on Earth the letters "c", "u", "n", and "t" are total jibberish,  regardless of what order they are in.
Words are what we allow them to be. To be honest, the "c-word " (like all words) does have a time and context for appropriate application.  Perhaps not as a general statement such as "All women are cuntaloons", but individually one person may feel and express that another specific person is a "cuntaloon ", and that person may reasonably retort. The cycle may then continue until exhaustion or boredom sets in....
or until whole nations are at war.
It depends.

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

What Is Thought? (Krishnamurti)

What is thought?
Jiddu Krishnamurti


The Awakening Strain

The Awakening Strain



"Awakening" sometimes comes with many adornments: flowers, robes, good feelings, cultural adornments, artwork, support groups, etc. Cultural adornments can be easily passed off as superfluous bullshit, but these adornments can be tools for transcendence if they do not become dogmatic traps. Awakening comes with many great benefits and by way of various paths, but awakening isn't always all marshmallows and gravy.

Awakening, simply put, is transcendence. Transcendence is a beautiful path, but it requires work. For example, a musician really begins to feel music when they transcend the thought of music theory or structure, but the work is still required. Beyond the structure of music is where creativity begins. Music theory itself is not music, but a tool. A religious person can begin the process of true spiritual awakening when they transcend dogma, structure, or system. The symbols and adornments of the various cultural perspectives are tools much like music theory. A meditator achieves awakening by no longer consciously adhering to method and entering into a realm beyond the deliberate effort.

But the work doesn't end once the door is open. The awakened mind (in a relationship with the body) still operates with one foot remaining in the "real" world, and can often struggle to understand surface reality as it interrupts higher consciousness. It's much like swimming to stay above water. The awakened mind has broken through the surface to breathe, but is still doing the work and continues to get wet.

There are also the personal human confines -the relationship of the awakened mind to the animal. For myself, although "awakened" (or I should say "perpetually in the cycle of falling and awakening") I still enjoy a good fight, wood fired meat, horror movies, strange humor, sex, chocolate cake, and other earthly perversions. I still experience anger, judgment, worry, frustration, and fear (although to a lesser degree). These are not flaws to be corrected. These are animalistic tendencies to be observed and experienced. Much as yin has a relationship to yang, the awakened mind can have a relationship to the animal body. One does not necessarily need to derail the other. Despite my love of my inner animal, I also find greatness in the smelling of flowers, staring at trees, creating forms of art, intellectual conversation, deep meditation, and expressing love and compassion.

A lack of perfection is the journey of the awakening strain. There is never a cause to give up, just enjoy the adventure, for no adventure is an adventure if it is perfect. Certainty has no place in awakening, but uncertainty comes with its own strains that are well worth embracing. The work continues.

"Awakening is possible only for those who seek it and want it, for those who are ready to struggle with themselves and work on themselves for a very long time and very persistently in order to attain it."
-G.I. Gurdjieff

Monday, December 8, 2014

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

The Chakra-Circuit Model of Consciousness/Reality


All circuits of consciousness can be glimpsed or experienced by some, but generally people float around one level and oscillate down or up depending on many factors or contexts.  Through intentional practice, higher experiences, and even traumas one may affix into a higher level. Most humans are stuck in the lower levels of consciousness. 
Examples of levels:
1-2: All adult humans function within these first two levels.
3-4: Most humans also glimpse into these territorial citcuits. (Those who are stuck in political, religious, or cultural ideologies)
5-6: Artists, the creatively inclined, meditators, thrillseekers, scientists, philosophers, naturalists, Buddhists, the religiously enlightened, yoga practitioners may function primarily in the 5th and 6th circuits.
7: Higher yogis, mystics, psychics, monks, and others may be affixed in this higher circuit.
8: The Buddha, yogis in a state of Samadhi, Jesus, possibly extraterrestrial intelligences, potentially self-aware networked artificial inteligences. 

Friday, November 28, 2014

Black Friday Commercialized Looting

For a prime example of apes at their most askew we can observe shoppers on psychotic parade one special day per year -BLACK FRIDAY.
This holiday (*and it is a legit holiday in the sense that it observes the purely religious-like worship of consuming worthless junk) ironically falls on the day after our most thankful and giving day -Thanksgiving. Once we get all of that thankful food-gorging out of the way we can feel a bit better about charging forward into the realms of every man/woman/child for themselves in the uniquely human quest for nothing.
The worthless junk we acquire on this holiday at a slight discount is not proportionate to the stress, energy, time, and lack of sleep commited to such acquisitions, but we apes gone askew will not be detered!
Black Friday commercialized looting is the not-too-distant cousin of old fashioned looting proper. The trampling sport commences.
Why do we do this? What is it about our uprightness that causes this behavior? Do we not get enough blood to our brains?
Be assured that these are primal survival attributes gone askew and misapplied to our modern context. In other words, most of us can't help ourselves. We love illusions. We buy illusions.
Whether looting is done out of political outrage, racial outcry, drunkenness, sports related furvor, desire for chaos, or in the case of Black Friday, pure senseless greed, we can be ready year after year to watch our fellow primates completely lose all faculty of mind as they go quite far askew.
Unfortunately commercialized looting is not victim free. There have been deaths and numerous injuries over the years. Not to mention the stall to our evolutionary progress this behavior activates in our genes.
For statistics of Black Friday related deaths and injuries go to...
www.blackfridaydeathcount.com

Saturday, November 22, 2014

The Gold Star

The Gold Star

When we were growing humans we were sometimes awarded something extra for our good performance. If we did well enough on a spelling assignment we would get something far more glorious than a letter grade -we would get a GOLD STAR. Ding!

We knew nothing of the value of this gold star other than its luster which made it stand out as something better than an A+. The imprint of the importance of the gold star was imposed on us by our teacher and by our own innate insecurities which lead us to want to be as good as the other kid who got the gold star. If we too can get the gold star everyone around us will be happy and we will be happy too. We learn to achieve self-validation through validation from others, and the trampling rat race to get the cheese begins. Nowadays every kid gets a gold star!

But the actually valueless gold star didn’t go away after childhood. It has sneakily followed us into adulthood. The gold star is now a collection of meaningless approvals we seek -employee of the month, a fancy car, the gold watch, the official club shirt, the better seat to the show, the cool shoes everyone else is wearing, etc. We can sometimes waste a lot of energy and potential chasing these ghosts. We can also lose sight of things of higher value in our endeavors to achieve things of perceived importance. We lose sight of the achievement itself and strive for the reward. Striving for importance is not invaluable. The encouragement can be an important tool, but the wild free mustang doesn’t wear blinders and doesn’t miss out on the world around. Ultimately, if we strive for achievements for reasons of true personal value, adequate amounts of superficial and superfluous toys and entertainments will still be there for our enjoyment without the need for extra running in the hamster wheel. The icing will find the cake.

There’s nothing wrong with desiring a few nice things, but we can steer our energies so to not waste them entirely on frivolous rewards at the cost of chronic loss of potential.

Sometimes these gold stars can be used to manipulate us into doing things we don’t like for the promise of the false reward. Sometimes we don’t fall for this trick. Therein is the personal revolution.

"Great things are not accomplished by those who yield to trends and fads and fashions." -Jack Kerouac

So, strive for greatness, oh standing apes, but make sure it isn’t just a worthless sticker.

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Plan Your Escape!

Here's a great series of articles at New Escapologist written by Drew Cagne about planning your escape:

Part 0
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5

Friday, October 3, 2014

An excerpt from "The Poetic Realities, The Poetic Fantasies"



From the section "What Is and What Shall Never Be"....

There seems to be a confusion spreading around town- that something (X) "is" something else (Y). I don't know how these rumors get started, but it comes from a position of confusion due to the surface level experiences of reality that we endure through a basic trickery of our own minds. This wild beast is running around overturning trash cans and smashing windows and making the world a generally unpleasant place. This is the monster of miscommunication and misinterpretation, and it is deeply burrowed in the minds of humans. This confusion can be noted as a lack of depth (attachment to the surface material world) and a relatively un-diagnosed ailment in the health of the disconnected primate mind, mixed with a slight hint of primal barbaric tendency, hence all the smashing (of the environment, each other, language, etc). It seems to us that all workings are in order, yet beneath it all we find suffering and angst in society (our relations and understandings between one another). How can a sick person not know they feel sick? How can the obvious disease of the mind go so unnoticed?

"To be, or not to be. That is the question." This was proposed so logically by Shakespeare. This offers only two options to the question in a world of multitudes and infinitudes. In a reality full of potentials we have many more options. To be what? To be where? Who? When? Why? Relative to what? Where? Who? When? Why? So much is left to differing assumptions.

Let's re-write that: "To experience relative to possibilities as an observer, or to experience relative to more possibilities as an observer, or to turn away and ignore. That seems to many of us to be a question the observer seems to be faced with at this time."
A great rewrite of a classic!

The linguistic term "is" is equal to the mathematical term "=", "is"="=", "is" equals "equal", but the only thing that can equal something is itself or an exact representation of itself (same size, details, functions, purpose, and even time/location in reality which may affect its purpose or function). Anything else is merely a symbol, model, or map of the thing (or situation or experience) and can not be held accountable for being equal to the thing itself. X can not equal Y unless X is Y, but X is X, and Y is only a representation of X if it includes certain conditions. The attorney is not the defendant. The story is not the event. The meal is not the recipe. The parable is not the truth.

The statement "This sucks" does not include the needed observer. Nothing in reality exists in isolation, and no event or object exists in observation or thought independent of the observer. A more accurate statement would be "This seems to suck to me, but I could be wrong."

"Most problems exist because the verbal form you put them in creates the problem."
-Robert Anton Wilson

Removing the "is" from observations removes the identity (separation) of the object or event and includes the observer as a part of the phenomenon. After all, identity is simply a separation; a compartmentalization or category. Even something as obvious as saying "It is night" makes a definitive statement that all reality is night. What is "it"? What is "is"? What is "night"? These are the debates we don't know we engage in within our various ranges of communication. Certainly it's not night in China if it is night in America unless somebody pulled the plug on the Sun, and certainly it's not night near the surface of The Sun. It also isn't night in the deepest darkest reaches of outer space. Night is the position denoting an act or time of being in the shadow of Earth, and all the mysteries that the night offers.

"The ultimate truth is beyond words. Doctrines are words. They are not The Way." -Bodhidharma

"Is" becomes a weapon of identified separation: is or isn't, yes or no, black or white, cowboy or indian, right or wrong. With such a certification on reality, we propose to know what is happening when nothing in reality can be certain. We also propose a separation. Then when another person dubs that something is something other than we agree it to be, we feel compelled to defend what we are certain of and attempt to correct the error of the other person. For example, I could say "Donkey meat is disgusting." Then my next door neighbor, who happens to be the owner of a company called "Put Your Ass In Your Mouth Gourmet Donkey Meats", hears about my statement and has a reactionary meltdown because his passion (certitude) has been challenged. This leads to mutual psychological reactions that lead to dislike, distrust, and anger. I have miscommunicated my opinion as a general fact, and he has misinterpreted my opinion as a personal and threatening attack. Now I am no longer friends with my neighbor. Both of us are to blame. The next thing you know, we are in court with claims against each other over tree branches crossing over each other's fences, or any such similar nonsense. Certainly I am right and he is wrong. In his version of certainty, he is right and I am wrong. The vicious cycle continues for years and perhaps generations. Hatred spins its web and silliness flies right into the middle of it.

Now suppose I had a more accurate statement about donkey meat. Suppose I had said, "Personally, I don't prefer donkey meat." Then there is no problem. Then my neighbor and I exchange gardening tips or play horseshoes and all is beautiful in the neighborhood. Suppose he had a more reasonable reaction to my statement, such as "That's ok, neighbor, ass meat is not for everyone!"

Words are delicate to the sensitive emotional mind. Our pains and joys hinge on these utterances. Meaning is agreed upon in various ways. As an example, the word "physician" means something very specific to our relations- a doctor in a white coat that checks your eyes and ears and general physical health and passes you off to a specialist if anything seems off. The word "physician" is not such a specific word itself, but it has a specific meaning in the mental consensus of society. "Physician" comes from the Latin root word "physica" meaning things relating to nature. So a physician can be a person who practices the art or science of things related to nature. This is a very broad term and could apply to gardeners, athletes, doctors, circus clowns, scientists, bodybuilders, and other people in the field of the natural or physical. However, in our modern accepted understanding of the word, if a stumbling circus clown were to claim they were a physician they might risk being shunned (or even arrested) for posing as a fraudulent doctor. So we see that words extend beyond literal meaning and become implied, sometimes far beyond their meaning. Metaphor takes these definitions even further from their literal source. Language, therefore, is more of an art than a science, and can have the same comforting or discomforting effects as art.

When we understand the depths of semantic expression we can gain a foothold of how we relay our thoughts to the world. This allows us to be less offensive. We also get a better grip on understanding what is being expressed by others, and we gain the ability to be less offended. Reacting in a hostile manner to someone insulting your mother who does not actually know your mother is a highly illogical ape-like reaction since the noises the offender is making are completely meaningless and unfounded. A good reply to such meaningless insults could be, "maybe", if a reply is needed at all. We each have a responsibility to be less offensive, and we each have a responsibility to be less offended. Understanding the psychology behind expression will help.

"The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place."
-George Bernard Shaw

We hopeless hominids have been making quick judgments for centuries and centuries. It's a good thing, we have used it for survival. Fire equals hot is logical. Muslim equals bad is not logical. Fall equals danger is logical. Tall equals basketball player is not always logical. Quick judgments keep us out of trouble. However, chronic and excessive judgment, in more complex psychological, sociological, and semantic circumstances, are quick assertions that can lead to misunderstanding, and a planet full of billions of quick assertions every second of every day can lead to many compounding misunderstandings, big and small. As a simple matter, seeing fire as hot is not a complicated issue, but saying that (*insert whatever unfounded prejudice here*) is bad or wrong deals with more complex variables that may or may not make that perspective true from individual to individual. The more complex the subject, the less exact a statement about it can be, because more variables must be considered. This complex social chaos has led to wars, greed, division, hatred, racism, bigotry, sexism, slavery, the building of jails, currencies, governments, religions, theft, armies, extreme consumerism, poverty, and just plain old societal overload that has led to mass insanity.

"We cling to our own point of view, as though everything depended on it. Yet our opinions have no permanence; like autumn and winter, they gradually pass away."
-Zuangzi

Frogs are green. Are they? Or, are some frogs green and others other colors? And to who? You? Bumble bees? What color are frogs in the dark? What color is a frog to an earthworm? What color is a frog if no one (or thing) is looking at it at all? What color is the frog under an ultraviolet light? What color is a frog to a blind person?

“In spite of language, in spite of intelligence and intuition and sympathy, one can never really communicate anything to anybody. The essential substance of every thought and feeling remains incommunicable, locked up in the impenetrable strong-room of the individual soul and body. Our life is a sentence of perpetual solitary confinement.”
-Aldous Huxley

Nothing actually is anything. The observer and all circumstances in space and time must be considered, or at least implied, in the observation to illicit greater understanding. Including the observer in assessments and statements (the relaying of information) is important because the entire nervous system of the experiencer is present in the story of reality.

Remember that "is" is equal to "=". Donkey meat is not disgusting to everyone, even if it is to me or you. Our statements about reality are not universal, and they may change. It could be that donkey meat prepared a certain way might be delicious, or maybe not, or you may find that you are the ass. When you make a statement about reality it is important to note that it is only a statement about your limited perceptional experience of reality. You know very little beyond that sliver. The rest is just guesswork based on very little and applies to very few and only within a certain time frame or scenario context.

Once upon a time, in 1888, a 35 mph (miles per hour) train felt fast and nearly blew the top hats and bonnets off of traveling upright gentlemen and ladies. These days 35 mph feels slow. This is all relative to the experiencer and the general understanding of the experience of speed. As of 2013 most people on Earth have felt high speeds in cars, trains, planes, and roller coasters, so in their version of reality, in 2013, a 35 mph train feels slow. However, in 1888, many people had only gone as fast as a gentle horse trot. To them the experience of a 35 mph train would have been astounding. The experience of a modern roller coaster would be terrifyingly heart-stopping. So the experience of reality and what can be said of it depends on its context of when, as well as the contexts of where, what, and who.

“Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.”
-Albert Einstein

Take the example of heat and cold. We say "X is hot" or "Y is cold". These are quick judgments relative only to our experience and relative to our organism and our immediate environmental relations. Therefore, the loose observation of hot or cold is relative to the experiencer, so the observation includes the observer, even if the state to does not. In reality, something can only be hot or cold in relation to something else. 212° Fahrenheit is hot relative to 108° Fahrenheit, but both are "cold" relative to molten lava on Earth. All three temperatures, 108°, 212°, and molten lava, are hot relative to standard human existence. The liquid metal mercury (known as quicksilver) is only liquid in standard conditions relative to human life. It has a "melting point" of -38.83° Celcius, but since that temperature is far colder than our standard conditions of life experience we call it a freezing point, or vice versa. There are planets in which the usual state of mercury would be a solid metal. A more accurate statement (or interpretation of statements) would be "X seems hot to me right now" or "Y felt cold to me yesterday", or "X seems hotter than Y to me at this point in time". To simply say "X is hot" is a general statement relative to the observer that does not include all points in space and time and does not include the observer. Even worse than stating a definitive statement is interpreting a statement as definitive.

When someone says to you, "You are an asshole!", what are they saying? What are you interpreting? What is actually happening on a psychological or relative sociological level? Understanding semantic foolishness will help you take things less personally- "Like water off a duck's back." What do these noises actually mean?

"Everything is self-evident."
-René Descartes

The language of mathematics does not include "=" as a statement without putting conditions on both sides of the proposition. For example, mathematics (the symbolic representations of reality) does not allow us to say 5=3, because it doesn't. It does allow us to say 5=3, but only if you include the conditional reality of +2, so 5=3 when 2 is also present; 5=3+2. It also allows us to say 5=X with X acting as an unknown variable. The variables of what could equal 5 are so many (infinite) that to say that 5 can only equal a specific statement, such as 3+2, is a false assumption (all 5s are not only 3+2), like saying all frogs are green, or all Muslims are terrorists, or all Christians are evil, or all gays are going to hell, or all monkeys eat bananas, or all bosses are right, or all humans think and therefore they are, or whatever other absurdities and irrationalities we hear throughout our day. 5 can equal 5 or 3+2 or 12-7 or 1+1+1-14+36-20 or 1,000,000-999,995 or whatever concludes to being conditionally equal to 5 or includes the recognition of an unknown variable that may allow something to equal 5. In this way we see that each individual number (or thing or experience) is deeply tied into infinity. Anything less than five, or smaller than 5, does not equal 5, and even a representation of five, such as 3+2, only accurately represents 5 as a numerical function. This depends entirely upon the circumstances of the statement itself. For example, 5 planets of varying sizes are not the same (not =) as 5 planets of the same size each. They are equal in number only, but not necessarily equal in true representation. Words are also dependent upon the circumstances of the statement. Chicken soup = chicken soup, but grandma's chicken soup is not equal to canned chicken soup, Chinese chicken soup is not equal to Indian chicken soup, cold chicken soup is not equal to hot chicken soup, rotten old chicken soup is not equal to freshly cooked chicken soup, and chicken soup to me is not equal to chicken soup to you. Other variables exist that destroy the generalization of "is". Similarly, brownies with walnuts are repulsive to many children but quite delicious to many adults, and many adults seem to subconsciously conspire to make brownies with nuts deliberately included in them to, a) torment the children, and b) make the brownies the way they prefer with no consideration for the repulsiveness of bitter walnuts to children. But all joking aside, we get lost when we state that one is absolutely right and the other is wrong, because 3 can equal 5 if we add the necessary expressions, such as +2 to make our communication clearer, and chicken soup might taste better if we add salt and pepper, or maybe not. To many kids 5 brownies(b) are yummy(y), but 5 brownies(b) are less than(<) yummy(y) when walnuts(w) are added. Therefore, to most kids: 5b=y, but 5b+w<y.

“A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.”
―William James

©2014 Laren Grey Umphlett

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Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Banned Books Week



Hello stumbling apes,
It's Banned Books Week here in the land of the free and home of the depraved. Throughout the history of our great nation you may have found a few things missing among the amber waves of grain: BOOKS! Not all of them, just the ones that scare the ignorant. The ALA has organized Banned Book Week so we heathenous free spirits can celebrate books and authors who have been challenged by the party-pooping un-fun status quo. Surely this week is a celebration of all that is wretched, vile, wicked, appalling, lustful, irresponsible, and hell-bent on corrupting good innocent minds and spreading that which is feared so voraciously: freedom.

These books could transform the good wholesome American into a leaping, frothing hell-hound devil who dances maniacally among bonfires of burning bonnets, baseball gloves, apple pies, and American dreams. Ironically, I always thought it was NOT READING that turned good little boys and girls into junkies, thieves, and whores. I must have been distracted by the pitter patter of my own cloven hooves to think that freedom is a good thing. Blinded by the fires of hell, I have failed to see the rights of some people to dictate what other people should or shouldn't be reading.

Here's a list of banned books in America:
BANNED BOOKS IN AMERICA

For more about Banned Books Week, visit the American Library Association website:
http://www.ala.org/bbooks/bannedbooksweek