The Ten Commandments of Logic

What Are My Political Beliefs?

What are my political beliefs? Sometimes people ask, but usually people assume, and they assume based on a small fraction of information. Some think I'm this or that or that or this. Depending on the topic, day, and mood I eventually can get stuffed into any political corner. I consider myself an "apolitical rationalist". I'm all over the map politically.

So, get to the point Laren. What are your political beliefs?

Well, the best way I can summarize it is that my political beliefs are simple, and it is this....
I think we should beat politicians with sticks.
It's that simple!
Have a great day.

"I dismiss the pachyderms and the asses in favor of my axons and dendrites."
-Laren Grey Umphlett
The Power of Perception

Beyond Words, Union With Everything

Here's a piece I wrote for Meditation Masters....

http://thewayofmeditation.com.au/blog/beyond-words-union-with-everything/

The Three Commandments!

1. Thou shalt not commit murder.

2. Thou shalt not rape.

3. Thou shalt not enforce opinions, ideologies, or beliefs as facts upon others.

Summary:
"An ye harm none, do what thou wilt."
-The Wiccan Rede

Robert Anton Wilson Day (aka "Maybe Day)

The 23rd of every month (as well as other hidden days) is "Robert Anton Wilson Day, aka "Maybe Day".
On this day (and others) society will get a shot in the arm about the "maybe logic" of Robert Anton Wilson and related subjects (general semantics, NLP, the 8 circuits of consciousness, yoga, magick, etc).

For more about Robert Anton Wilson visit www.rawilson.com 

All folks who know and live the collage of RAW thought shall share the knowledge with others on this day and on any day between.

Our Dumb Words

Why does our species say such incredibly dumb things?

A bit of sarcastic satire may help clarify.
Here are a few examples...

●"There's poo in beards." 

Well, there is, and it's on your toothbrush too. But fear not, we will all survive this bacterial epidemic!
●"If man evolved from monkeys then why are there still monkeys?" 

This is the dumbest utterance spoken by humans. God invented velcro shoes for people who are too dumb to tie a knot.
●"Obama's gonna invade Texas." 

First he must find it on a map. Don't tell him it's near Mexico.
●"If we let gays get married, the next thing you know people are gonna want to marry their dogs." 

Some dogs look good in a tux.
●"If you don't wanna get beat up by the cops then don't break the law." 

No shit? It's that easy?
●"God hates fags." 

It's amazing how much a non-human divine entity suffers from petty human maladies such as hate and jealousy.
●"Don't judge me." 

Oh you mean you? The one who wants laws to tell others what they can and can't do with their bodies? Ok!
●"Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there." 

Please for Christ's sake if you love your mother think of something more original and heartfelt to say.

●"It's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve." 

This little nugget of white trash wisdom is the 'ah ha!' light bulb moment of transcendental awakening for the gene-damaged. It even rhymes!
●"If you don't vote then you don't have the right to complain." 

Well actually it's the opposite: If you DO vote then you don't have the right to complain. You're the one who gave these nutbag politicians your permission and endorsement.
●"My condolences. Your Uncle Jimmy is in a better place now. He's with your Aunt Ethel in eternal heaven."
Aunt Ethel? You mean Uncle Jimmy is stuck in eternity with Aunt Ethel? The woman who survived 20 years too long because of an oxygen tube and forced us as kids to eat jello fruit salad she accidentally dropped cigarette butts into??? She's the reason Uncle Jimmy drank too much! Nobody wants to be stuck with creepy old Aunt Ethel!
●"Don't judge me." 

Oh, you mean you? The wife beater felon with a bag of crack cocaine and a 'fuck you' tattoo on your forehead? OK!
●"If you eat pop rocks and soda at the same time you will explode. That's how Mikey from the Life cereal commercials died."

 This written-in-stone fact of American cultural lore is absolutely true.

This list is not comprehensive or exhaustive.

As Albert Einstein once said, "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."

The Simple Equation of God

If we use the letter G to represent God, and X to represent an unknown variable, and the following letters to represent beliefs, we can come up with even more confusion about God with a simple equation.

If...
A=Baptists truth
B=Buddhists truth
C=Norse
D=non-existant
C=a mosquito
E=Muslim truth
F=in a volcano
G=an old man in the clouds
H=the word
I= Protestant truth
J=Mormon truth

Then solve for X,  G=X

What is G?

It can't be done. God remains an unknown variable as G=X, the equation of God.

If we were to say G=H or G=A or G=F or any other specific solution we would be introducing a set answer to a variable of multiple potentials (X).

If presented with X we should not assume that X is anything other than simply X, but we humans like to have answers or create answers to fit unknowns. So we say that X must be something, rather than letting X be X.

Unknowns are unknowns. Unknowns can't equal knowns until information is presented otherwise. Assumptions and beliefs don't cut it.

Sombunall

The word "sombunall", which means "some but not all", could be a highly useful word. It was coined by ontological language master Robert Anton Wilson. It functions as a condition attached to the word following it. This changes the sentence from a jarring absolute into a soft semantic glide.

"Women are crazy."
"Sombunall women are crazy."

Which of these two sentences is wrong? Which offers enough leeway to be sensible and variable to context and other yet-to-be-determined conditions?

In actuality "sombunall" is an excessive use of syllables. "Sombunall" simply means "some", since "some" already implies "not all".
However, the word "some" is often easily overlooked, so for the spirit of effect I like to use "sombunall". It brings attention to the condition you are attaching to the subject.

Joe A: "Some dingos have displayed acts of aggression in some cases."
Joe B: "Hey this asshole just said all dingos are aggressive! Can you believe the nerve of this guy???"

Or alternatively...

Joe A: "Sombunall dingos have displayed acts of aggression in some cases."
Joe B: "Sombunall dingos? What the hell is a sombunall dingo???"

There are very few absolutes in this world.
2+2=4, but not all 2s equal 4. They only equal four when given the condition of +2.
You could say "Sombunall 2s equal 4." Then someone would need to figure out which 2s equal 4. Only the 2s that have the condition of +2 added to them equal 4, but not all 2s equal 4.

In societal culture we have situations that almost always have complex variable or unknown conditions. This makes "sombunall" very useful in statements about our complex relations. The more complicated the cultural situations, the more possible variables exist.

Here is an exercise.
Change these absolute statements into statements that allow for variables using "sombunall":

"Cops are dicks."
"White men can't jump."
"Snakes are poisonous."
"Frogs are green."
"Muslims are the enemy."
"Chickens lay eggs."
"Pot smokers are dumb."
"Humans are the smartest animals on Earth."
"Steppenwolf songs are awesome."
"Flags wave in the breeze."
"Republicans/Democrats/other/etc are wrong."

"Apes have gone askew."

Enjoy using SOMBUNALL. It can change the dynamics of your expressions and prevent you from getting backed into the semantic corners of absolutes.

Here are links to more resources about sombunall...

http://deoxy.org/wiki/Sombunall

https://stancarey.wordpress.com/2013/10/03/sombunall-coinages-become-cult-words/

http://vixenstrangelymakesuncommonsense.blogspot.com/2010/06/ask-your-doctor-if-time-is-right-for.html

ALSO! PLEASE JOIN OUR FACEBOOK GROUP "APES GONE ASKEW!"

Virtual Vacation

Perhaps you do not have the time or means (for now) to visit places you may be interested in, but you could consider the next best thing: a virtual vacation.
Here's the idea....

Plan a week in a location. Let's say India as an example.
For the entire week you can do things to virtually put you there. Of course nothing is like the real thing, but this can still be a good learning experience. To spend a week in India "virtually" you can do some of the following things.
-Buy a travel guide to India
-Learn some Hindi 
-Watch films or read books set in India
-Eat Indian cuisine
-Talk to friends from India or who have been there
-Watch Indian tv or film
-Study Indian culture, history, and religion
-Get on Google Earth and "visit" India
-Daydream that you are there

Of course none of this is as good as the real thing, but it can allow you to spend a week in a learning experience.
Happy travels.

Revised Must-read Book List For Living

"Walden" by Henry David Thoreau 
"Prometheus Rising" by Robert Anton Wilson 
"The Yoga Sutras" by Patanjali 
"Science and Sanity" by Alfred Korzybski  (alternative: "Drive Yourself Sane" by Bruce Kodish and Susan Kodish)
"The Bhagavad Gita"
"Civil Disobedience" by Henry David Thoreau  
"Quantum Psychology" by Robert Anton Wilson  
"The War of Art" by Steven Pressfield 
"Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind"

"Freedom From The Known" by Jiddu Krishnamurti 

"Tao Te Ching" by Lao Tzu

"The Book" by Alan Watts

"Critical Path" by Buckminster Fuller

also read science books!

I Am An Ape

I Am An Ape

I am an ape. That’s for sure. You too. Well, at the very least we are riding around in an ape body and experiencing reality with an ape brain with apish tendencies. If I slip on a banana peel I can break my tailbone and experience a pain in the arse. If I slip in my relations with other apes I can get a headache or perhaps I can be a pain in the arse. It’s all very complex apishness, these bodies and minds. The numerous variables of complex ape psychology are hard to comprehend. Yet, we are tied in for now to this primal primate set of limitations.

And that’s what the human experience is, a complex set of primate limitations experiencing a small fraction of reality and cursed by the certainties we have about it. Even the elevated and enlightened minds among us remain attached to the dear apeness we think we experience as the truth. Our highly regarded certainties sit on dynamic display through our human expressions into the frantic collective of other humans (society), and the display case is sometimes impenetrable. In some cases it is bullet-proof or even bomb-proof to allow no tampering with this prized “truth” we think we possess.

This is where the wild party gets started: in the colliding of rigid truths. And wild parties can get out of control in a second. A guy looks at another guy’s girl (his possession) and shirts suddenly fly off and grunting and flailing begins. Some would call this a “fight”, but a fighter would call this an absurd mess, as if Mozart were witnessing a Justin Beiber concert. Nonetheless, a melee has ensued and the crowd reacts in its various ways: some frightened, some appalled, some joyfully entertained.

Is that uncivilized behavior? I suppose alcohol fueled mayhem can be construed as uncivilized, but it is the same complex ape-like social operations we can see even at the highest levels of society. This is because it is all primate reactions. Don’t be fooled by the uprightness and fancy words. We are a highly out of control species compounded by complexities on top of complexities.

However, the elevated mind and even the heathenous mind having brief moments of clarity can transcend these primal reactions. At least the reactionary behavior can be reduced or applied appropriately or sensibly. Each moment offers something to jolt us into or out of these foolish guardings of erroneous certainty which is supported by the tricks of our own mind. It is a choice that can be made, but only if we see that our perspective of reality is not all reality; that many factors are ignored by our opinions of truth. Once the walls of certainty collapse new growth is possible, like letting sunlight into a room full of dying plants. And we are dying. We are suffering a long slow social and psychological demise, because time has moved forward without us. We’ve hung on to our “truths” for far too long.

Ok, Laren, since you seem to know it all….

Wait a minute, I know nothing. That’s what this is all about!

….why don’t you tell us what to do?

There’s the problem: this ape mentality of thinking we need to be led, or thinking that we need to lead.

The Argument Against Evolution

You've got to admit that the argument against evolution is extremely weak. It's about as strong as the position of the Flat Earth Society or people who don't believe in gravity.

Here are a couple of points made against evolution:

First, we have witnessed and documented evolution.

Second, humans are still evolving.

This is probably the dumbest and most irrational thing ever uttered by a human. It's amazing to think that this would sound reasonable to any grown adult with enough intelligence to be capable of tying shoes.

If you do not believe in evolution (because it doesn't fit your particular "system" of indoctrination) you are suffering from dogmatic mental delusions and a rigid perspective of reality not based on reality. This isn't a matter of respecting beliefs, it's a matter of the dangers presented to society by false beliefs. Yes, beliefs held and taught are dangerous to the sanity of society. Abandon or change any beliefs in the light of new information. Alter your personal system of belief instead of adhering to one error within it for the sake of the whole, 

In other words: EVOLVE.

Thou Shalt Not Take Thy Shalts Too Seriously

Here are a few thoughts on the Ten Commandments. Some good and some not.

• ¹ And God said all these words: ² I am the Lord who took you out of the land of Egypt, out of the prison-house. ³ You are to have no other gods but me. All Gods say this. All jealous teenage boyfriends and girlfriends say this too. It's pure nonsense. 
• ⁴ You are not to make an image or picture of anything in heaven or on the earth or in the waters under the earth: ⁵ You may not go down on your faces before them or give them worship: for I, the Lord your God, am a God who will not give his honour to another; and I will send punishment on the children for the wrongdoing of their fathers, to the third and fourth generation of my haters; ⁶ And I will have mercy through a thousand generations on those who have love for me and keep my laws. No pictures please! Also, obey your father, even if he's wrong. If you do this, even though it's wrong, I will reward you. Don't ask why!
• ⁷ You are not to make use of the name of the Lord your God for an evil purpose; whoever takes the Lord's name on his lips for an evil purpose will be judged a sinner by the Lord. This is an attempt to not be implicated, but humans have engaged in evil in the name of God since the dawn of man. There must be a lot of souls in hell! 
• ⁸ Keep in memory the Sabbath and let it be a holy day. ⁹ On six days do all your work: ¹⁰ But the seventh day is a Sabbath to the Lord your God; on that day you are to do no work, you or your son or your daughter, your man-servant or your woman-servant, your cattle or the man from a strange country who is living among you: ¹¹ For in six days the Lord made heaven and .earth, and the sea, and everything in them, and he took his rest on the seventh day: for this reason the Lord has given his blessing to the seventh day and made it holy. Nature doesn't know what Sunday is. Sunday is just another day.
• ¹² Give honour to your father and to your mother, so that your life may be long in the land which the Lord your God is giving you. Honor your parents who raised you. If they a worthy, they deserve it. This is good advice.
• ¹³ Do not put anyone to death without cause. "Thou shalt not kill". This is the most sensible of the commandments. It's an easy one to follow too. Don't murder anyone or else. I feel that society goes a little too easy on murderers.
• ¹⁴ Do not be false to the married relation. This simply means don't have sex with anyone else, but there are several cultural exceptions to this.
• ¹⁵ Do not take the property of another. Another extremely easy one to follow, but whole societies of millions of people are based on stealing from each other. So maybe it's not really so easy.
• ¹⁶ Do not give false witness against your neighbor. Don't lie about others or make false assumptions. We shouldn't need God to tell us that, but I guess some people do.
• ¹⁷ Let not your desire be turned to your neighbour's house, or his wife or his man-servant or his woman-servant or his ox or his ass or anything which is his. You may BORROW an ass, but not a wife. I've never had an easy time accepting that other people should be considered property.

We can take all the petty human flaws and jealousy out of it and put it all into sensible perspective with The Wiccan Rede:

"And ye harm none, do what thou whilt."

An Excellent Daily Mental Exercise

Every day we are on the run doing things we need to do.
Well, "need" is a bit of a stretch. But we are fixated on getting a carrot that is always out of reach.
Most things that we think we "need" to do aren't really all that important.
So here's a good daily mental exercise that uses your imagination in your favor...

Every day, wherever you are, pretend as if you are on vacation in that place for the very first time.

There are two main steps:
1. Stop.
2. Smell roses.

When you are vacationing someplace you take the time to look around, but since you are generally accustomed to your usual daily surroundings you may find yourself uninterested in your surroundings and over-focused on whatever "needs" to happen next.
When you are on vacation nothing "needs" to be done next, and you find yourself with the extra time and presence of mind to look around and enjoy the present moment.
Well, you experience present moments at every present moment, continually. So look around and enjoy. You don't "need" to be doing anything right now.
Every day, every moment, is a vacation from something. Every moment has something new. Stop and smell the roses.
Enjoy.

Science and Sanity

I highly recommend the book "Science and Sanity" by Alfred Korzybski.
It's a long tough read, but a game changer.
The cover is a bit boring as well, so I took the liberty to design a more colorful cover.

Apes Gone Askew!

Viva la Evolution!

Becoming Aware Of

In the book "Drive Yourself Sane: Using the Uncommon Sense of General Semantics" by Susan Presby Kodish and Bruce I. Kodish, there is a part discussing how people learn from their experiences. There are four basic steps:

1. Becoming aware of
2. Questioning
3. Testing
4. Revising their assumptions

The problem many people encounter is that they often do not get past Step 1. They simply "become aware of" and that ends the learning experience. This is also called "belief" or "faith". 

A belief may or may not be true or real (or both), and does have a place in attempting to create a model of understanding of the unknown.

As examples, a person who is raised Christian reads The Bible and thus "becomes aware of" that interpretation of reality as fact, while on the other side of the world someone reads the Koran and accepts that model of reality. For the established belief nothing more is necessary. This is why religion tends to suppress steps 2, 3, and 4, because often times questioning, testing, and revising conflict with what is taught fundamentally.

This phenomenon of awareness/acceptance/surrender/repression/belief (lack of higher consciousness) is not isolated to religion (although many people do use religion as a tool towards higher consciousness, many become stuck in the particular dogmas). We also see it in politics, classism/racism/sexism/elitism/etc, social ideology, and within human relations (and even in science).

The average stumbling primate is fully unaware that they have ended their potential for expansion. They think they "know". When this knowing is established (blindly and without question) it becomes solid and unmalable. The rigidity of the knowledge shuts down more information trying to enter the brain, or adapts the information to fit the initial belief (i.e. dinosaurs and humans living together as to not conflict with the creationist model of the age of the Earth). If one were to inquire beyond the belief one would find common denominators among beliefs and ideas, and the lines of separation would begin to blur. 

Extreme and chronic lack of inquiry leads to polarization of ideas, lack of cooperation in the world, division, and fundamentalism which keeps the world from progressing and evolving. With fluid, permeable boundaries mankind can exchange tools and ideas and function more productively and cohesively.

A way to break this pattern of "becoming aware of" is to realize the patterns and abandon beliefs when new information arises. We must allow our beliefs to bend in the wind. This is done by questioning, testing, and revising our assumptions (beliefs).

To allow the mystery is against our human conditioning, but advancement and beauty are found in the potentials of mystery.

Here's a short example in scenario form:

(BECOMING AWARE OF)
Wife: Honey, I heard a noise in the living room. I think a burglar is in the house.
(QUESTIONING)
Hubby: ok, I will check it out.
(TESTING)
Hubby: Hey!!! Who's there??? I've got a gun!
(REVISING THE ASSUMPTION)
Grandma: It's your mother! Don't shoot! I was just bring the grandchildren some cookies!
Hubby: At 11 o'clock at night? You scared the hell out of us!!!

Some people would have shot grandma first and asked questions later!

To learn more about how we perceive the world and get stuck in our own mud, please read "Drive Yourself Sane".

An Amazing Time In History

We live in an amazing time in history.
Here are a few things to consider about the time we presently live in:

• We can instantly communicate around the world through type, audio, or video in real time.
• We have virtually unlimited information available at our fingertips; the equivalent of a million libraries.
• Our governments are being exposed.
• We can quickly learn almost any skill with access to teachers and tutorials online. For example, you can learn to fix a broken table leg or cook an amazing omelet or learn a language fluently without having to go through an immersed apprenticeship. In the past one had to go to great lengths to learn to cook and other skills.
• We can interact with people of all nationalities and backgrounds. This expands our pool of knowledge and gives access to wisdom different from our own, which can exponentially expand our own knowledge and wisdom.
• In the past we only heard stories or saw pictures of our deceased relatives. We are now entering an age where we can watch video of how whole past generations lived.
• Alternative foods, building methods, energy sources, and ideas are available to us.
• Through a greater understanding of nutrition and exercise, people have the opportunity to be fitter and healthier than people in the recent past.
• The old restricting beliefs and standards of society are dying a slow death. This will allow the species to move forward.
• You can watch a nature documentary on HD TV and see a cheetah take down a gazelle. 100 years ago people only heard stories and some saw an illustration in a book of these far away mysterious creatures. Very few people ever witnessed something like this, now it is seen by millions.
• You can now learn far more at home than you ever could at a university. Autodidaction.
• We send spaceships throughout the solar system.
• Science has now proven that reality isn't reality.
• We are on the verge of discovering life on other worlds. It has already been proven mathematically.
• We have a deeper understanding of nature.
• There's a "spiritual" consciousness awakening happening around the globe that contrasts centuries of religious and political oppression.
• You have access to alternatives to the proposed status quo. You have access to alternatives to the proposed status quo. Again, you have access to alternatives to the proposed status quo.

Now what are we going to do with all of this information, capability, and potential?
You see, it turns out that it is actually YOU who is steering the ship.

The Samurai Creed

I have no parents; I make the Heavens and the Earth my parents.

I have no home; I make the Tan T’ien my home.

I have no divine power; I make honesty my Divine Power.

I have no means; I make Docility my means.

I have no magic power; I make personality my Magic Power.

I have neither life nor death; I make A-Um my Life and Death.

I have no body; I make Stoicism my Body.

I have no eyes; I make The Flash of Lightning my eyes.

I have no ears; I make Sensibility my Ears.

I have no limbs; I make Promptitude my Limbs.

I have no laws; I make Self-Protection my Laws.

I have no strategy; I make the Right to Kill and the Right to Restore Life my Strategy.

I have no designs; I make Seizing the Opportunity by the Forelock my Designs.

I have no miracles; I make Righteous Laws my Miracle.

I have no principles; I make Adaptability to all circumstances my Principle.

I have no tactics; I make Emptiness and Fullness my Tactics.

I have no talent; I make Ready Wit my Talent.

I have no friends; I make my Mind my Friend.

I have no enemy; I make Incautiousness my Enemy.

I have no armour; I make Benevolence my Armour.

I have no castle; I make Immovable Mind my Castle.

I have no sword; I make No Mind my Sword.

Trataka Meditation

I am an advocate of exploring meditation methods. Over the years I have practiced several methods using various tools- music, mandalas, images, symbols, mantras, bells, candles, and binaural tones.
Binaural tones are a favorite, but recently I broke me earphones so I decided to get back to something I used to practice regularly: Trataka Meditation, candle gazing.
"Trataka" in Sanskrit means "to gaze". It is a yogic method of meditation that basically involves gazing at a lit candle.

Here are some simple steps:
(There are many different methods)

1. Place a lit candle a few feet in front of you at a comfortable chest or eye height.

2. Assume a sitting meditative posture. Relaxed. Straight spine.

3. Begin breathing (natural or controlled "pranayama" methods).

4. After several breaths close your eyes and remain focused on the image of the flame "burned" into the rods and cones of the eye. Continue breathing.

5. After several breaths open your eyes and continue breathing.

6. Repeat.

This method offers focus and an altered state of consciousness and meditative brainwave states. Vary the practice to find the best results.

Enjoy.

Grammar

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Hate.

Not so long ago. Not so far away.
Still here in many ways.
It serves no logical purpose.
Hate seems to be a reversion into primal patterns that becomes irrational in modern context.

This Is Not A Leaf

Transcend identity for experience.

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"Dust Honey"

"Dust Honey"
by Laren Grey Umphlett
(from The Poetic Realities, The Poetic Fantasies)

That luminous pedal stretching into day
as a mystic may know cause.
Dew suckle and glow
A journey of light bends skyward falling
and high mists may relegate with soft touch,
The equal is in the stay.
The messengers toil the stems
as certain benefactors they hum
Angels with halos of black
and cargo of gold,
The lynch pins of our heartbeats,
They are the hinges of our winds
Every soft valve and tube thankful for their mercy
A perfect plan now step trampled
the sting will swell
The love unfolds in the gold
hoisted a fine dust.
No many more than needed
No less
Carrying on as not told silently
but the hum of what is known...